


EPIC RAP BATTLES OF WATFORD: GEORGIA VS. SIMON AND BAZ

by thewonderlandishere



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: EPIC RAP BATTLE, What am I doing, with my life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 19:27:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11743617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewonderlandishere/pseuds/thewonderlandishere
Summary: this is the stupidest thing i've written in my life please forgive me





	EPIC RAP BATTLES OF WATFORD: GEORGIA VS. SIMON AND BAZ

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so this is really stupid, like I can't believe I actually spent some of my precious time on earth writing this
> 
> (I advise you watch at least one EPIC RAP BATTLE OF HISTORY so you get like, the gist of whats happening here)
> 
> Background information about my friend Georgia that will make the this make more sense:
> 
> \- she likes sailing  
> \- she has a tiny doge called Scamp who, although adorable, is like the size of a rat thats been exposed to nuclear testing  
> \- she plays the trumpet and shes pretty good but not for the sake of this

*beat starts*

 

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF WATFORD

  
GEORGIA PALMER

  
VERSUS

  
SNOW AND BAZZZZ

  
BEGINN

 

BAZ  
Leave this to me Snow  
this girls gonna get wrecked  
because her face before i'd stepped here  
was already shreked  
remember that time you heard her name  
yeah, me neither  
she's so lame  
that even the fucking mage isn't to blame!  
SIMON  
aha! it's true!  
my father made a lot of mistakes  
but the biggest one by far was lowering this school's stakes  
i mean how did a girl who likes sailing more than men  
even make it past the gate of this great Watford magic den!

 

GEORGIA  
OK  
let me get this straight (haha)  
Baz it really took you 8 years  
to ask Simon on a date  
I mean look at you!  
You were hardly very busy!  
all you did was sit around pining  
whilst your pants got jizzy!  
You can't step to me either Simon  
you freckly freak  
I mean come on rosebud boy  
*pointing at Baz* how could you make your future that bleak?!

 

BAZ  
Oi!  
I'll have you know you insolent girl  
I drink blood to stay alive  
and your face still makes me hurl  
I mean you've got to be joking  
with your ratty little dog  
thats too small for stroking!  
SIMON  
I'd let Baz drain you free from all the blood in your body  
but i'd rather see your trumpet playing get even more shoddy!  
It's also funny that you take the piss outta me  
when your rapping talent  
is smaller than a flea!

 

GEORGIA  
WOW!  
im so wounded  
getting dissed by two boys  
who still play with magic toys  
and i also can't believe  
you'd date a vampire over agatha  
when the only place that wont kick you out  
is probably fucking canada!  
you're pathetic!  
i'll choke you with reality Simon  
the future you have with Baz is so bad  
even the Bunce's are sad at your choice  
because it took your precious Basilton  
8 years to find his fucking voice!  
have fun when Bazzy goes running to his daddy  
and your love life gets deader than fucking goaty ebby!  
now excuse me  
i've got a lot of things to do  
because forget about swallow Simon  
you're gonna have to chew

 

WHO WON

  
WHOS NEXTTT

 

~end~  
~what is my life~

 


End file.
